Hot Yoga

I tried hot yoga recently. Someone told me it's a good idea to stand near the windows, especially if you're new, so I did. And that's when I realized how old I am.

Cause I'm standing by the windows, doing the yoga, it's all well and good. But here's the problem: I have absolutely no attention span. And this shit is BORING. It's so stupid hot that all of the movements are all minimal and slow. I'm not a details man. I need movement. And someone yelling at me for more movement.

This was all quiet and focused. My mind was racing. Thinking of a million things OTHER than my breathing and if I should push myself to get my nose to touch my dick. Finally, the dude comes over and opens the windows to let some air in. 

Now, I recently had some work done at my house. Replaced some windows. So as he's opening the windows, this is what's going through my brain:

"Are those Milgards? The Tuscany? Gotta be the Tuscany. Double paned. Wait, no, single paned. No, they're definitely double paned, for sure, the Tuscany. That's a good window. Must be cause of the heat and keeping the place quiet. Any good window man would've recommended the Milgard Tuscany in this situation. Strong choice".

That's when you know your youth has died. When you're thinking windows in a room full of half naked women, it's time to contemplate burial plots.

But anyway, I'm not gonna go back and do hot yoga again. It's not because of the windows. It's not because of the heat. Hell, I used to live in Arizona, it actually felt a little chilly in that room to me. Nope, the reason I'm not going back is for one simple reason:

The Hot Yoga Teacher's body.

The Hot Yoga Teacher was a dude, a little younger than me. And we're all doing this class in basically our underwear. There's nothing to hide. And this guy, who is an expert, and presumably does this yoga every day, and can do all of the poses perfectly, his body just ain't that good.

He wasn't fat. It was just a lot of nothing. Girls aren't fucking this guy for his body. Maybe for his flexibility, I'll give you that. But not for the body. 

So if I do a million classes, the best I'll do is this guy? No, thanks. I'll think about windows on my lying on my couch, like any respectable old person.

Read More

I Still Don't Know What the Password Is

The other night I met someone at a bar. They suggested the place. I showed up and a valet guy took my car. On the sidewalk, just outside the front door, was an old man in a half bellhop, half tuxedo looking outfit. 

There was a gay couple in front of me talking to this Tuxedo Man. He asked the gay couple if they had a reservation, they said yes. He found their name. Then he asked them for the password. They said something that I couldn't hear, and they were led into the place.

I stepped up to the Tuxedo Man.

TUXEDO MAN: Do you have a reservation?

ME: No.

TUXEDO MAN: Okay. What's the password?

ME: Don't know.

TUXEDO MAN: Right this way!

And he led me in to a half-filled bar.

Read More

Boardwalk Empire Up, Homeland Down

"You and me sit down and we talk about who dies" -- Al Capone.

Sunday nights. If you want to be in on TV conversations Monday morning, it's a good idea to not have plans on Sunday nights. There's just too much. Homeland, Boardwalk Empire, Revenge, The Walking Dead...

Well, maybe not Revenge. Not this season, anyway.

But the other three...good or bad, they are fun to discuss the next day. 

Homeland and Boardwalk are both coming to the end of their seasons. And they seem to be going in opposite directions. Homeland had an amazing first season that it hasn't yet recovered from. Boardwalk Empire, on the other hand, had a promising first season, a little better 2nd season, and is now killing it (oftentimes literally) in its 3rd.

Homeland's struggle, and Boardwalk's success, are the result of the same thing:

The difficulty, and splendor, of having to do a lot of episodes. 

The thrill of Boardwalk Empire this season is watching everything come together to form a complete whole. Little things setup in the beginning of the season are coming back to matter in the end. And though it can be laborious to watch at times, it's pretty darn rewarding to see stuff pay off.

They've successfully used the straight up longness of a TV season to its advantage.

Boardwalk Empire has always been a little frustrating for me. I want to love it so badly. Why? Because there's so much cool shit there! And yet they seem to take all of these cool elements and do uncool things with them. You got Chalky White, man! Use him! Have him kill some motherfuckers. And Richard?! One of the best characters on TV and you give him nothing? How dare you. There's so much God Damn restraint on that show. It's obnoxious.

Stop letting stupid Gyp Rosetti get angry all the time and actually use the awesome characters you've already established. They can get angry too!

But finally, as this season has gone on, they've found their coolness and used it. It's fun to watch all that potential become realized. The finale is next week. And shit will go down.

And then there's Homeland.

The classic example of a TV show that only thought it would be on for one season. Call it the "Prison Break" conundrum. You almost wish there was room for TV to do one off seasons of shows like these. Or they should at least have the balls to blow things up and start over. I don't watch American Horror story, but I respect that they completely redid things for season 2.

Homeland is sputtering for the exact same reason that Boardwalk is flourishing, because they have to keep making more episodes. It should've ended at season 1. Brody should've died. Brody needed to die. But he didn't. He couldn't. Because a successful show must go on. And a lead actor must keep breathing.

I thought they did some cool things at the beginning of this season. But then the daughter/hit and run storyline happened to all of us. And yikes.

That had all the look and feel of a classic stall. They needed a diversion before they got to what we're really interested in, and this just wasn't good enough. The daughter sucks. As cool as Richard is on Boardwalk, the daughter is lame. It would be like Happy Days deciding to ignore Fonzi for awhile and put Potsie front and center. No one wants to see that.

Now, it could be that this whole hit and run thing will come into play in the end. Maybe Abu Nazir is going to (hopefully) blow up the daughter, or at the very least put her through a rigorous driver's training course. But even if that happens, which I doubt, it just wasn't something any of us could care about. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm still on board. It just feels like I'm watching a show that didn't know it was gonna have to stick around. I'm hopeful they had a plan all along and things will ratchet up in the last 3 episodes.

But regardless, the show has had it's Landry/Tyra murder moment, and it's yet to be seen if, like Friday Night Lights, it can recover from it. I hope it does, because I'm enjoying these Sunday nights.

Read More

Entertainment Weekly Says...

That Silver Linings Playbook "could only spring from the mind of David O. Russell". I bet it sprung to his mind when he was reading the novel, Silver Linings Playbook.

Read More

For the Conspiracy Theorists

Read this.

Read More

The Eddie Murphy Special

I've had quite a few depressing nights recently, but none can compete with the Saturday night I had a few weeks ago. My Arizona State Sun Devils were playing Oregon State at 7pm, so I was meeting up with some other alumni at a bar to watch the game. Okay, all of what I just described is depressing, but that's not the depressing part.

The bar was in Hollywood. So I had to drive my ass all the way from Hermosa Beach, about a 40 minute hike. I get there, we watch the game, and it goes exactly the way all of ASU's games against ranked opponents have gone for the last 15 years.

With the game out of reach, everyone was sad and I was tired, it was time to go home. I hit the road for the long drive back. As I'm pulling into my driveway, my phone rings.

It's a friend of mine who rarely if ever calls me. "Hey. What are you up to?" "Nothing", I say. He says, "You know that Eddie Murphy Special they're doing for Spike TV? I was at the taping tonight. Anyway, I have an extra ticket for the after party, do you want to go? It's in Hollywood".

As I watched my garage door close, I exhaled. FUCK. I just got home from Hollywood. I was toast. I politely, and regretfully, declined.

Depressing.

But I haven't even gotten to the depressing part yet!

I was so bummed about this. Eddie Murphy?! After Party? Come on, ain't no party like an Eddie Murphy after party cause an Eddie Murphy after party has trannies.

It was around midnight. I brushed my teeth. Took my contacts out. Settled into bed. And that's when the texts start coming:

"I was just talking to Martin Lawrence and Tyler Perry!"

"The after party moved to Eddie Murphy's house! I'm at Eddie Murphy's house!"

"Um, Stevie Wonder is here"

"I'm on a couch sitting between Judge Reinhold and Tracy Morgan!"

"Eddie is playing us his favorite R&B concert videos...no big deal".

Seriously. Seriously? Seriously.

Judge motherfucking Reinhold!!!

Read More

I Might Be a Jerk

I was at the grocery store, and the guy in front of me turned around. He smiled, recognizing me, and we shook hands. I went to college with him.

Actually, we were in the same dorm freshman year together. In fact, we were on the same floor together a few rooms down from each other. This may not seem like that big a deal, but when the school has 50,000 kids and the dorm has 14 floors, it is at least noteworthy.

We were friends. Other than being dorm neighbors, I went out with a girl who was his girlfriend's good friend. We hung out and he's a good guy. Very nice. Easy going. I lost touch with him after school ended.

We went to college in a completely different state, and now, coincidentally, he lives a few doors down from me in Hermosa Beach. He works at Paramount in the entertainment business. Clearly, we have a lot in common. We are practically living parallel lives. But here's the thing: aside from a possible future run in at the grocery store or a local establishment, I will never talk to him ever again.

Why in the hell aren't we friends?

Read More

Maybe I Just Hate All Movies Now

You all know my thoughts on "Argo", which I refuse to back down from. Nevertheless, I recognize that not too many people agree with my assessment. On Friday, I went and saw another movie that everyone says is great, "Skyfall".

Meh.

I'm pretty surprised by the universal praise of this film. Even the audience in the theater I saw it in absolutely loved it. I don't get it. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm saying it's not bad. It's not that great either.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Just 2 movies after James Bond was rebooted with Daniel Craig as a young, Jason Bourne badass, suddenly he's suffering from a midlife crisis. That was quick. One of the Hemsworth brothers better start warming up in the Bond bullpen at the rate this is going.

But okay, fine. It's not a bad premise. Unfortunately, it is never really played out. Unless you count the fact that Bond kills the bad guy with a knife, because that's "old school"...or something, it is basically dropped. There are a lot of references to him getting older, and M as well, but there's no payoff or meaning behind any of it.

Where does he struggle with this age thing? He doesn't pass a physical? Okay, well, he still kicks everyone's ass and shoots perfectly on target when he needs to. The villain gains no advantage from this supposed weakness.

The movie was going along great - cool opening, good setup, and a terrific scene when we meet the bad guy, played by Javier Bardem. He's the best part of the movie, and it's no surprise he can play creepy. A bigger surprise would be him playing a non-creepy person.

But right after this introduction scene is when things start to fall apart. First, we get the tired old gag where the bad guy gives himself up and all is well...but that's exactly his plan! I liked it the 73rd time, when the Joker did it in The Dark Knight.

It's straight out of every book on screenwriting and it's tired as shit. I'm not saying it can't be done anymore, but at least dress it up a little.

And after this guy's genius plan, of stealing a list that reveals all of the agents working undercover (previously seen in the first Mission Impossible and a bunch of other stuff), and manipulating the gas pipes via computer to blow up MI6, it suddenly becomes all about killing M.

That's it? What happened to that island you took over? What happened to the list? Nope, just a straight revenge killing. Which is fine, I guess, but that sure was a lot of setup for that. Also, earlier the girl said that Bond doesn't understand true fear until he deals with this guy. I liked the sound of that. And yet he turned out to be a completely inept killer. Where was the "fear?" I wanted the fear!

This brings us to the ending.  Retreating back to a house and preparing it for the bad guys to come is something seen in just about every Steven Segal and Jean Claude Van Damme movie ever made. It's not the hack factor that bugs me though, it's that it is so boring.

Take, for example, the last Mission Impossible movie (which I loved). Think of the inventiveness of that scene in the parking garage. That was a massive, amazing set piece. Now compare that with basically an updated version of the ending of "Lost Boys".

It's no comparison. Mission Impossible went the extra mile with that sequence. Skyfall seemed to run out of either creative capital or capital capital. There was a great chase sequence at the beginning of the movie. Normally, you want your finale to match or hopefully exceed that. This wasn't even close.

As the credits began to roll, I thought to myself "well that ending sure was a big let down". And then I heard the people behind talking about how amazing it all was. That's when I realized that I have completely lost touch with the American public and what is considered good. Well, it was fun while it lasted! I'm officially out of the Hollywood's demo!

Read More

My Episode of Suburgatory Airs Tonight

ABC. 9:30.

Well, it's finally here - the reason my posting has been so sporadic these days. The first episode I wrote for Suburgatory airs tonight after Modern Family. It's entitled "Foam Finger".

The truth is I feel a little silly saying this is "my" episode. The show is really a collaborative process - one that I will go into detail about at a later date - but since my name will be up there with a "written by" credit, I might as well go with it. But just know that all of the writers do it together.

I'm really proud of the episode and how it came out. Although I've written a lot of hours of TV, this was my first official experience in the sitcom world. I learned a lot. And got to be on set for the week of shooting it took to put it together.

When you do the sort of sketch stuff I've done, you work with a lot of shitty actors. They take what you think is a great joke, and often take a dump on it. I know it will sound like ass kissing, but the actors on this show are truly amazing. I think maybe I hadn't been around good comedic actors before - although Joel Mchale was great, and so is Tosh, though he would never claim to be an actor - but I was really blown away by their ability.

They elevate the material, and make you look better than you are. That doesn't happen when you're working on a web redemption and instructing some guy from Kentucky who got hit in the nuts on a line reading.

And for me, personally, as someone who was heavily influenced by SNL as a kid, to have veteran SNL cast members reading my words was pretty sweet. Have I mentioned my man love for Chris Parnell recently? Cause I have a lot of man love for him. Literally every word out of his mouth is funny.

The episode itself is a little bit insane. Okay, it's a lot insane. There is an homage in it that, in my opinion, is fucking amazing. And the way it's done, by director (and handsome man) Alex Hardcastle, made it even better than I thought it was going to be when it was written in the script. He mimicked the show that is being referenced in an exact, creepy way. 

So even if you don't like Suburgatory, you might love the homage. If you watch, wait 'till the end and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Thanks!

Read More

For the Record

The head wins!

For the record, Nate Silver predicted every state exactly. I'm no mathmetician, but I think that's pretty good.

The winner of the election was Obama, and it was also the polls. The polls were right.
And this pleases me.

It's nice to know that there are some knowable things in the world. That it's not just hunches and vibrations. And speaking of Peggy Noonan, can we please just take another look at some of that column she wrote yesterday? I mean, seriously:

"Among the wisest words spoken this cycle were by John Dickerson of CBS News and Slate, who said, in a conversation the night before the last presidential debate, that he thought maybe the American people were quietly cooking something up, something we don’t know about. I think they are and I think it’s this: a Romney win."

And...

"There is no denying the Republicans have the passion now, the enthusiasm. The Democrats do not. Independents are breaking for Romney. And there’s the thing about the yard signs. In Florida a few weeks ago I saw Romney signs, not Obama ones. From Ohio I hear the same. From tony Northwest Washington, D.C., I hear the same."

And...

"Maybe that’s the real distortion of the polls this year: They left us discounting the world around us."

And...

"I suspect both Romney and Obama have a sense of what’s coming, and it’s part of why Romney looks so peaceful and Obama so roiled."

Conservatives in the media, it's time to stop being so stupid. Or at least it's time to stop writing the stupid things down.

During this election, I couldn't help but be obsessed with polls. A lot of us were. And with all of the numbers and the pundits and the crazy conservatives, there was a lot of confusion as to what was actually happening. It all gets put out into the world day after day and we immediately forget about it.

But I don't. It sticks with me. And it makes me mad. Why are people allowed to say wrong things and not get called out on it?

The problem is, there's no documentation of all of this. So I get frustrated because I never remember exactly all of the stupid things that were said. This bugs the shit out of me in sports, and especially in politics. The election happens, or the big game, or whatever it is, and I know that people were completely wrong, but I can't remember exactly who they were and what they said. There's no one for me to properly mock.

And then, when the next election comes around, or the NFL draft, I start from zero again. I won't know who to listen to. I'll start second guessing the polling again. Or start believing what Mel Kiper is saying.

Well, not this time. This time, I  attempted to keep a record.

I realized that through Twitter, for the first time, it would be very easy to do this. Because Twitter has a handy function called "favorites". You see a tweet and you hit a little star, and that tweet is saved for you.

So I followed some conservatives, and any time they tweeted something I thought I might want to see after the election, I favorited it.

The election is over, so let's have some fun and look at what some of these genius's had to say. I'll start from most recent tweet to last:

@jeff_jacoby The sound at the Romney event just crushes the Obama campaign. One seemed like a wedding, one seemed like a funeral.

@nolteNC
"Just trust me. There is no way Romney gets 270 electoral votes." -- people who believed Obama's promise to cut the deficit in half.

@thefix
Obama drags around two of the biggest stars in the world for free concerts and can't attract the crowds Mitt does on his own.

@JimPethokoukis
Newt Gingrich forecast: Romney by more than 53%, 300 plus EVs, control of the Senate. He says polls are skewed. (I know, I sed no Twitter)

@thepantau
Sandy Bounce is fading, fading, fading ...

@michellemalkin
OK, here's my official Electoral College prediction for #election2012. http://bit.ly/SILSYv #RomneyRyan2012

@flynn1776
The polls are wrong: The electorate is R+6 http://bit.ly/XeuBtH #tcot #tbrs #teaparty

@keder
so enjoying watching people like @fivethirtyeight and @TheStalwart ruin their credibility. good times.

@keder
I think it's entirely possible for Mitt to run up the score and get 330 electoral votes. If Obama wins, he'll barely break 270.

@keder
Obama has a lock on re-election. That's why he's begging his base voters to show up & running ads comparing voting 4 him 2 sex. Yep. A lock.

@republicandude
I really can't figure out why Mitt is in Pennsylvania. All the anonymous left-wing trolls on Twitter told me Obama already won Pennsylvania.

@RichardGrenell
I cannot believe that PA is in play or the GOP. America is really fed up with Obama

@thepantau
Prediction Time: 1) The election won't end Tuesday night. 7 states will b decided by 1 pt or less. (VA, OH, CO, IA, PA, WI, NH)

@chuckwoolery
I just want the job of giving Obama/Biden lovely parting gifts and thanking them for playing.

@orwellforce
Poll: Romney Up 1 in Michigan http://shar.es/cLF0q via @BreitbartNews

@gatewaypundit
3 more days until Obama throws the mother of all hissy fits in his concession speech.

@jrubinblogger
Landslide Watch: Romney Up in Colorado, Ohio and Minnesota – Tied in Pennsylvania http://shar.es/cNE1A

@keder
I don't care if that MN poll was done by a conservative group. The fact that MN is in play is bad, bad news for @Obama2012.

@keder
Every day that goes by I become more convinced that Obama is going to end up with 47% of the vote. Oh how sweet that would be!

@keder
All the news about actual votes coming in says GOP enthusiasm is off the charts and Dem turnout in Dem-heavy areas is weak, weak, weak.

@thepantau
Early voting has been brutal for Dems. GOP enthusiasm is white hot (becuz racism.) Mitt has >> money. But, Dems have Nate Silver!  

@TPCarney
Barone: Romney with 315 electoral votes >> http://bit.ly/SlLFIy @faith4mishel Obama team panicking, Romney team expands the map >

@MarkLandler
Romney's visit to PA, Plouffe said, is a "desperate ploy."

@orwellforce
So Obama is losing the early vote, has less money, and lower enthusiasm but he's still going to win. Do I have this right @fivethirtyeight?

@orwellforce
Media is bored with Biden's gaffes. Odd, they were so interested in Bush and Palin gaffes that they even invented many of them.

@kesgardner
Has anyone done a good summary piece on how Nate Silver has become the Sandra Fluke of statisticians? I don't get it. #numbersmartyr

@kesgardner
GALLUP: Mitt 51, Obama 46 with likely voters. No candidate at or over 50% this late in this poll has ever lost.

@keder
RASMUSSEN: Mitt now leads in Ohio, 50-48. But I think that RASMUSSEN is oversampling early voters. Mitt's actual lead may be bigger.

@numbersmuncher
Bottom line of PPPs OH, FL, NH polls: If Obama gets much better turnout than 08, he will win by less than he did in 08. Think about that.

@kesgardner
Wow PPP working overtime for Obama this week. Big swings towards him in Ohio, Florida, Iowa, New Hampshire, etc. (no one else shows that).

@snarky_basterd
GALLUP: Mitt leads 50-46 among likely voters. No candidate at or above 50% this late in this poll has ever lost.

@orwellforce
PSA: if I change my mind about OH, I promise to share. That's very unlikely to happen unless Obama closes the gap in national polling.

@kesgardner
I'm currently predicting 296 electoral votes for Romney, winning: FL, VA, NC, OH, WI, CO, IA, NH, and getting one of ME's votes.

 @kesgardner
Right now, the only two GWB states I see flipping to Obama are NM and maybe NV. Mitt has a great shot at WI, fair shots at MI, PA, MN.

@kesgardner
This is what left wing sour grapes looks like. They know they're going to lose. http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_289563/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=cGixjazt …

@ThePantau
 I am VERY confident. I am as confident today that Mitt will win as I was at this point 4 years ago that Obama would win.

@ag_conservative
It's really a shame that our first black president is such a failure. I'm confident Allen West will do when his time comes.

@andreatantaros
Can we just all agree on this: If Mitt Romney wins, Nate Silver will permanently be known as as the "Dick Morris" of poll analysts.

@jimpethokoukis
Is @fivethirtyeight a parody account? Asking for a friend.

@vodkapundit
GALLUP: Mitt 51, Obama 46 among likely voters. No candidate at or above 50 this late in this poll has ever lost.

@tednewton
Typically, if the polls are around 50-47 in the challenger's favor on election day, the actual election results will be around 52-48.

@pounderfile
RASMUSSEN: Among likely voters, Mitt leads Obama 50-47 nationally, 50-46 in the swing states. He has also pulled even in WI at 49-49.

@orwellforce
Worst part of this is that there are STILL people in America who think @BarackObama is a serious person.

@orwellforce
So is @fivethirtyeight anything more than a MSM-approved http://unskewedpolls.com ?

@biasedgirl
This is what a developing landslide looks like in late Oct. 

@BiasedGirl
Dems Begin the Post-Obama Blame Game http://bit.ly/S66HOq

@kesgardner
Obama under 50% in Ohio, col, fla, va, wis, Iowa, nc, mich, nev, nh

@kesgardner
It sure seems that 50% is Mitt's floor while 47% is Obama's ceiling. That is, unless something drastically changes the next 13 days.

@kesgardner
Given the results of the first 4 years, it is literally INSANE to allow Obama to continue them another 4 years. Unless you hate America.

@larryoconnor
I really don't understand how people consider Obama 'the favorite' to win the election. Isn't he down in the polls with no momentum?

@biasedgirl
After Romney wins FL and VA, all he needs is OH and one other "swing" state. But, Obama needs OH and a combo of three more.

@numbersmuncher
Nate Silver’s Flawed Model - Josh Jordan - National Review Online http://tinyurl.com/9ch5ntm via

@kesgardner
Short version of Nate Silver model: (1) yet another bad poll for Obama, (2) ????? (3) Obama is way ahead!!!!11!! 

@numbersmuncher
I think Mitt will win IA and has a very good chance to win WI as well.

@numbersmuncher
And Team O wants us to believe its lead is like it was in 2008?!?! Any idjit who lives in PA knows that there is no way.

@katymom11
So, Mitt is moving staff into PA. PA has been fool's gold for GOPers since 1988. But the Mitt campaign knows what it's doing.

@RichardGrenell
Here in VA we're on the verge of victory. Looking good on the ground. ‏

@kesgardner
I see we're back to cooked media polls of swing states using 2008 turnout models again. They must think we're dumb. @kesgardner Joe Biden's task for tonight: prayer. He is so screwed.

@orwellforce
Remember that model by two Colorado professors that predicts a Mitt win and has never been wrong? They updated it. --> http://www.colorado.edu/news/releases/2012/10/04/updated-election-forecasting-model-still-points-romney-win-university …

@richardgrenell
Dear leftists: Obama has never been as smart as you were fooled into believing he is. I'm sorry you're just now realizing this. Truth hurts.

@dennisdmz
Really, the Dem levels of excitement and enthusiasm for Obama are WAY down from 4 years ago. No comparison.

@kesgardner
Your average liberal is an incredibly selfish person who thinks government exists to give them other people's stuff.

@kesgardner
I'm going to repeat something I said earlier: old media/pundits are badly misreading how the public will react to the Mitt video. #hunch

@keder
I think after yesterday and today, we can make it official: Obama is the worst President in modern American history. Carter can now relax.

@orwellforce
Let me be clear: Obama is the worst president in American history. ‏


I guess the best news is not that Obama won, it's that you won't have to suffer through my election posts for awhile. 4 more years!

Read More

Head vs Heart

Who is sad that the election is ending? Anyone? I'll tell you who is sad, TV stations in Ohio. If they didn't make millions of dollars in pure profit this year, then they suck at their job. This election is the real stimulus bill.

For the rest of us, it is happily coming to an end tomorrow. Who will win?

Fittingly, the predictions from both sides align perfectly with their ideologies

Liberals believe in science. In scientists. In facts. In statistics. In provable things. In evolution.

And so, they are looking at the polls, crunching the numbers, and concluding, that Obama should win. Nate Silver has Obama as 92% likely to win tomorrow.

Conservatives, on the other hand, believe in their "gut". In God. In magical thinking (and magic underwear). In hunches. In anecdotal evidence.

And so, they are looking at the crowds at Romney events and remembering how Obama is "the worst president in history", and saying damn the numbers, Mitt is going to win this thing. Just check out this column written by Peggy Noonan.

She says, as only a magical thinker can, "All the vibrations are right..."

Vibrations? Does Rasmussen do a poll on that?

I don't know. But I do know that elections are the great equalizer. Finally, one thing that can actually put all of this bullshit to rest. We can find out who is right, and who is wrong.

And the better news is that because of the internet, because of twitter, all of this stuff is documented. So many times we just forget all of it. All of the predictions. All of the Nate Silvers and the Peggy Noonans. But it's easily retrieved now, and that's what I'm looking forward to.

I don't know who will win. Maybe the polls are wrong. Maybe the vibrations are right. But the good news is we get to find out.

As for my prediction - I'm a liberal. So I'll take the numbers. Fuck the vibrations.

Read More