New Year, New Life

I'm back!

Happy New Year. Sorry I've been away, but it was kind of a shitty holiday. I had a nice amount of time off, but I got sick on Christmas eve and have been unable to completely shake it. The lesson, as always, is don't hang around kids. They are walking diseases. Pretty sure they're the reason for the Walking Dead zombies and also AIDS.

Anyway, I perked up just in time to ring in the new year and say goodbye to the old one. And oh, what a year it has been.

2012 was the year I made it into sitcoms. And man, was that lucky. I feel so thankful for getting this gig because it's been the best one I've ever had. The show is really well run, and it's been a rewarding experience and so much better than I thought it would be. I've learned a ton and I'm a better writer because of it.

But when I think back to 2012, I probably will not think about my big break in show business. Nope, because something bigger happened...

2012 was the year I got de-engaged.

This is a rare peak behind the Handleman curtain, so get excited. I've been loathe to get too into my personal life on here, for reasons that are unclear to me. I just haven't. I think it was because I used to have a lot of fun writing about being the pathetic single guy and telling my tales of saying awkward things to cute girls.

I guess I wanted to keep doing that, and I did, for awhile. I always enjoy those stories. But unbeknownst to you, I've been going out with the same girl for the last 6 years and living with her for the last 3. On our very first date, I took her to an R. Kelly concert. So you know she's pretty freaking cool.

Occasionally, I would mention my sidekick while writing Bachelor recaps. That was her. She checked my spelling (she is an instinctive speller, and has elementary school trophy's to back it up) and noticed girly things that I would miss.

After considering the R. Kelly thing and her Bachelor duties, I realized I had to propose to this girl. So a year ago, that's exactly what I did. She accepted.

Long story short, it didn't work out. Perhaps marrying a guy who blogs about the Bachelor and put a basketball hoop in his dining room isn't what Julia Roberts movies are made of. Who knew?

Anyway, she has left the Handleman household. It was sad. For both of us. But she is awesome and I love her, so don't hate. But this is actually not sad at all for you. Because now the awkward stories are going to make a huge comeback! Single, pathetic Handleman has been given new life.

And the truth is I never wanted to be the guy who blogged about being married and having kids like I'm the first person to ever do it. That is annoying. Instead, I get to be the guy who blogs about being the guy who "isn't really that old, but is just a little too old to be in the club".

So, there's gonna be some big changes on this blog. Huge changes. Actually, there's gonna be no changes, I'm gonna be doing the same old shit, except with a few more single guy stories (and more spelling mistakes). The Bachelor starts soon, and those of you that hate that will ignore it, and those of you who like it will love it. Especially because I will be bringing extra bitterness to it this year.

Do we all feel better now that I got that out? Good. Now let's all shut up and focus on the important task at hand: mocking Sean and 25 women for a few months, and then getting me on The Bachelorette!