The Netflix Albatross

We all have at least one.

The movie on Netflix that has been in your queue, or even worse, at your house for months if not years. You tell yourself you want to watch it, yet when it comes down to it, you opt for something on the Hub or SoapNet or grossest of all, you decide to have interactions with your significant other.

For a long time now, my biggest Netflix albatross has been Zodiac, starring Robert Downey Jr., Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, and directed by David Fincher.

I really wanted to see Zodiac. I mean, seriously I did. I grew up where the movie takes place. I like Fincher. I've heard it's great. And yet, it has been at my house since April. I just couldn't pull the trigger and I don't know why.

Wait, I do know why. It's the running time listed on the sleeve: 2hrs 40 minutes.

3 hours?! Of Jake Gyllenhaal? Eh, I think I'd rather settle in for 6 episodes of The Wonder Years I've already seen.

I don't know why that is, but it is. Which is why I'm always skeptical when people talk about how TV is going to change. Things won't just be randomly on. You'll be able to go on the internet and just pick what you want to watch when you want to watch it. Well, I clearly do not like doing that. I love the surprise of the Guide. It's like a box of fucking chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

I don't want to be premeditated in my viewing. I have 23 episodes of Jeopardy on my DVR. I guarantee you I will not press play on any of them. But if it's 7:03pm and I hit the Guide and Jeopardy is there, you're damn right I'm getting in on round 1.

Back to Zodiac.

My sickness is what it took to finally crack the code. I was lying around feeling sorry for myself and stuffed up and realized: I have the time to watch this movie, and better yet, I can then mail it back and get something else that can sit here unwatched for 7 months.

And you know what?

Zodiac is great.

I really enjoyed it. It's really 2 movies. The first part is about the Zodiac killer's murders and the investigation, and the second part is Jake Gyllenhaal's obsession with the case and his efforts to figure it out. This turned out to be perfect because while I was watching I decided to give myself an intermission. I stopped at the hour and a half mark to make some popcorn and watch some football. Then I watched the rest.

And that scream you just heard was Fincher cutting his dick off. "That's not the way it was meant to be seen!"

The challenge of making this film was enormous. A 3 hour movie about an unsolved case in the '70's? And yet, they pulled it off. I was never bored. I was looking stuff up on the internet, I wanted to know more, and the acting and everything was top notch. Although I'm still confused as to whether Ruffalo is actually a good actor or we're still nostalgic about his performance in You Can Count on Me. There's a chance he actually sucks.

Anyway, I recommend it. In fact, I was starting to think "hey, maybe I'm a huge Fincher fan and never realized it 'till now. I love Se7en, The Game, The Social Network, This..." Holy shit, I'm Fincher's bitch!

Then I remembered Panic Room and Fight Club and calmed down. But still, the guy knows what he's doing.

So now that I've knocked Zodiac out, it's time to look at some of the other stalwarts in my queue. Bad Santa holds the record at 6 years. 6 years! It's been in my queue longer than my nephew has been alive. Some others:

Finding Neverland
The Great Buck Howard
Surrogates
Prizzi's Honor

At this pace, those probably aren't going to get watched. But I have a feeling Surrogates might not live up to the hype, so fuck it.