Have Lip Injections Looked Good Even a Single Time?

A lady by the name of Brandi Glanville was on the Howard Stern program the other day. Brandi used to be married to Eddie Cibrian. Who? Who the fuck knows. Well, we all know, but only because Eddie cheated on Brandi with LeAnn 'Crypt Keeper' Rimes and they ran off together. They probably didn't actually run anywhere, he just went over to her house, probably drove a Range Rover or something, and now they're together.

I didn't know too much about Brandi. But Howard kept saying how hot she is, and since Eddie is quite a looker himself, I assumed this to be accurate. I also didn't realize that Brandi is now on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

I do not watch that show. Because I am a Real Housewives of New Jersey loyalist. That Beverly Hills edition is trash, but New Jersey, now that's good television.

But the other day I was flipping the channels and saw that Beverly Hills was on. Because of the Brandi thing, I wanted to give her a look see. So I turned the channel and was shocked to discover:

MONSTERS

Monster looking ladies. All of them were horrifying to look at. Every single one of them. Their faces have all been altered in all kinds of disturbing ways. But there is one unifying theme to their grotesqueness: their lips.

What is happening in the lip world? We can crack open a chest, replace a heart, but Lisa Rinna's gotta look like God Damn Ronald McDonald? And this is Beverly Hills! Where the best plastic surgeons do their work. So the question is:

Are there a lot of great lip jobs being done that go unnoticed? Or are they all terrible and women think that they are good?

I don't know the answer, I put it to you. But you'd think if there were good ones, Meg Ryan and Courteney Cox would have them, and they clearly don't.

So ladies, enough with the lips. It's just not working. I'll take a set of Don Henley's over a Vanderpump any day of the week.