The Difference Between Talent and The Talent

TWO DAYS AGO...

Picture me on my couch. In sweatpants. Alone. Computer at my side. I'm writing. A DVR'd episode of "The Americans" playing on my TV.

Tweets pop up on my screen, as I've ordered them to do. I see one from Steve Martin. It's about Joel McHale, a guy I used to share an office with. I guess they're hanging out somewhere. Having a grand ol' time, palling around. And I think, "Man, Joel sure is lucky. He gets to hang out with Steve Motherfucking Martin. Damn."

FLASHBACK TO:

TWO WEEKS AGO

I'm on the couch. In sweatpants. Alone. Computer at my side. I'm writing. The TV is on.

An Instant Message pops up on my screen. It's from a friend. She is in publicity, and sorta in charge of an awards show. She's IMing me because they don't have a host for the show and she is panicked. They keep getting turned down.

She wants to know if I know any celebrities that might be able to do it. I think for a moment, indeed there is. I write to her. "Joel McHale. He hosts tons of stuff, is great at it, he'd be perfect".

She thinks that is a wonderful idea. She profusely thanks me. The next day she calls me - "You're a genius! We talked to Joel's people! He's in! Thank you!!!"

BACK TO

TWO DAYS AGO

As I'm reading the tweets of Steve Martin, I realize he's at an awards show with Joel. Wait a minute! It's that awards show! The one I told my friend to get Joel for.

CUT TO:

PRESENT DAY

I'm on the couch. In sweatpants. Alone. Computer at my side. TV is on. I'm typing this blog. And I've never palled around with Steve Martin.