I Can't Get Over This Chelsea Handler Thing

I don't get it. I just don't get it. Chelsea Handler. She's famous. And she's hosting the MTV VMA's.

Okay, I kinda get that maybe 35 year old ladies would buy her books, and watch her show. That sorta makes sense. But hosting the VMA's? The young, "hip", VMA's? The show Chris Rock used to host, and Eddie Murphy, and Russel Brand, and Diddy, and...Chelsea?

First of all, how old is she? Cause she's 45.

Secondly, everyone knows that she got a TV show only after having an affair with the President of E!, right? Cause that happened. And that show failed. And then she blew him, and then she got another show with a midget. Not that I'm one to diss midgets, but still.

I guess the thing that annoys me the most is not that people find her funny, but that she gets put in the "hot and funny" category. No, she literally gets put in that category, because I worked on an awards show and there was a category for "hot and funny" and someone suggested her for it. Luckily, I was in the room at the time and vetoed it.

Sure, she has the elements of attractiveness. Unfortunately, she also has the shoulders of Dwight Howard.

Let me tell you something about E!, cause I used to work there. 5 years ago, the highest rated show on the network, by far, was the Howard Stern show. And they got rid of it. Why? Because their business model is selling stuff to women in their 30's. So they didn't care that the biggest amount of people watched Stern, because it was the wrong kind of people.

They substituted it with content that would be less offensive to that audience. Therefore, it's impossible to be edgy and funny on E!. On the "The Soup", we would write the first draft of the script that was hilarious. We'd hand that in to the network, and they'd make us get rid of all the funny jokes and we'd write the nice version.

The point is - isn't MTV supposed to be the opposite of that? Isn't it supposed to be rock and roll and edgy and young? Well then why did they offer the hosting gig to my mom?

Forbes magazine says she made $19 million dollars last year. Let that sink in for a second.

I just looked her up on wikipedia right now, and apparently she says that she was born in 1975. She's a year older than me? That cannot be true. And if it is true, it's very, very depressing.

I guess I just thought that by the time I got to be this age, the VMA's would be hosted by someone I didn't even know was cool. Well, I guess that's sort of what's happening, but not the way I imagined it.