There Are People Dumber Than Sarah Palin

I made a huge mistake recently and went over to the Drudge Report. As usual, there were a number of insanely titled links. One was "Like Mother, Bristol Palin Wins Over Public". The link sent me to some awful story from a website in France.

Another headline was "Sarah Palin's Happiness Is What Really Irks Liberals". Glutton for punishment that I am, I went to see what weird blog from what foreign country this was written from. But no, it was written by someone right here in America. A woman named S.E. Cupp, who I have seen a couple times on Bill Maher's show on HBO.

So I read the article, and I honestly believe it is the dumbest thing ever written on the internet, and I'm counting youtube comments.

This isn't just some random moron on the internet, although it is, this is someone who gets to write books and appear on TV. This boggles my mind. Do you know how many miracles had to happen for me to get my job? How is someone like this being paid to write things?

But more important than being dumb, it's actually the perfect example of how misguided, demented, foolish, and naive fans of Sarah Palin are.

Here's her thesis:

It seems everyone wants a piece of Palin these days. Some are fans, some are hostile foes. But regardless, we just can't stop talking about her. Will there ever be a time when we decide that we've figured her out and there's nothing else to say?

And then it hit me. The reason Palin has become such a lightening rod, a kingmaker and a punching bag, a celebrity and a power player, is simple. It's because she's so gosh darn happy.

Yes! That's what it is! Her happiness. That's what is so annoying to so many people. That's the same reason everyone hates Santa Claus - dude is so fucking happy.

She expands on this brilliant shitstorm:

But for her detractors, nothing raises the ire of cynical liberals more than a happy-go-lucky, totally unburdened, freethinking and self-assured conservative woman who has everything she wants and then some. And without anyone's help.

And Sarah Palin, more than almost any other public political figure, represents the "can do" rugged individualism and self-reliance that liberals fear most. She's not just running her household. She ran her state! And in her new documentary series, we see that independent streak clear as glacier water. Whether she's casting for salmon or scaling the rockface at Denali, she's smiling - and just won't quit.

I'm gonna have to quibble with some facts here. She kind of quit running her state, so I don't think you can count that. Also, her home? Her 17 year old got knocked up by an idiot, and her 14 year old hates "faggots". So I don't know if we can count that either.

And not to nitpick, from all accounts Sarah isn't always smiling. She seems to do an awful lot of whining - about the lamestream media, about John McCain's advisors, about her neighbors, about how hard it is being a Governor, about Levi, about the lamestream media again.

I think maybe SE doesn't understand that reality shows aren't real.

If Palin's critics really want her to go away, they don't have to worry about her politics, her faith or her folksy rhetoric. They need to worry about her boundless happiness which, like her favorite hunting weapon, is poised to be a warm gun for anyone who dares cross her path.

The crazed Palin conservatives are always looking for the reason that the majority of Americans dislike Sarah Palin. They argue that the reason is that she's too awesome for us.

I guess the real reason is too difficult to grasp:

She's not smart enough to be our President.

That's right, some of us non-believers might be making this decision on the merits, or demerits, as it were. How many gaffes can you ignore? How many lies is someone allowed? How many times can a politician quit the post they were elected to in order to be on TV for a living?

I don't get why these aren't factors.

"No, it's not that she quit being Governor, or not being able to answer simple questions, it's that she's so darn happy!"

Sorry. S.E., you're wrong. We don't care that she's happy. In fact, there's nothing we'd like more than for her to be happy and content with her life. Just as long as she doesn't run for president.

I'll leave you with a quote from Sarah I read today. It's from an interview she did with Sean Hannity that airs tonight. This was her explanation of why she won't do another interview with Katie '"What do you read?" evil liberal bias' Couric:

"I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism”

I want to help too, so can we start with SE Cupp?