Confused About Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg was on "60 Minutes" on Sunday. What a weirdo. In a way, he is a lot like R. Kelly. He is a genius at one thing, but that genius comes at the expense of being able to function in society as a normal human being.

Zuckerberg needs to stick to writing code and avoid all cameras and reporters, just as R. Kelly needs to stick to singing and avoid 15 year old girls.

But there's a few things I don't understand about Facebook.

During the interview, they took a little tour of the Facebook offices. Leslie Stahl said that they had to move to a giant hangar to accomodate all of the employees. And they showed a bunch of "hackers" typing away on computers, with Zuckerberg saying they have competitions to write code the fastest.

So my confusion is: what are they working on?

What are all these "hackers" hacking? What code needs to be written? When I go on Facebook, it's the same shit! There's nothing new going on. It's a simple website. News feed? It's still there. Most recent? Humming along. Updates? Same as always.

Espn.com must have 2 hangars - their site has different sports pages, a scoreboard updating every second, streaming video! It must take a whole God Damn city of people to keep that shit going if Facebook needs a hangar.

Another thing: how is it worth $30 billion dollars?

Every time I hear about this company, this number shoots up by about $5 billion. Does no one remember what happened to Myspace?

There's a chance that people might find a new place to stalk their high school crushes. Seems like that should hurt the value a bit.

And finally, why does Zuckerberg stay? Sell! What more can you do? It's facebook! That's it, you did it. You're not thinking up Ipads, you're making everyone look at each other's stupid marathon photos. We get it, you ran 26 miles, so did practically everyone else.

The point is, you won. Cash out. I'm sure facebook is going to branch out in other areas, but the basic premise is pretty much complete.

And if you don't think getting out is a good idea, allow me to introduce you to my friends, Jonathan Abrams, Peter Chin, and Dave Lee. They invented Friendster, they didn't sell, and now they have to live on a paltry hundred million dollars.