Hollywood is Letting Taylor Kitsch Down

I love Tim Riggins. If I had to have sex with a man, had to, gun to my head, Tim Riggins would be the second guy on my list (the first would be Kenny from The Challenge Rivals, but that's neither here nor there).

Tim Riggins should be a movie star. Or maybe he should be a TV star. Either way, the word star is in there for this guy. But unfortunately, his moves post Friday Night Lights have been awful.

The problem? He's not getting to play regular guys who are funny.

That's the beauty of Tim Riggins! He's a dude. He's funny. That's what we want to see from him.

Instead, they make him a mutant in "Wolverine". And then he's doing a shitty South African accent in "The Bang Bang Club". You're taking away all of his strengths!

Now, I'm not one of those people who has to type cast people and only want to see them as the famous character they've played. That's not what I'm saying. He doesn't have to be Tim Riggins. But some actors were not meant to dress up like gladiators.

It's the Orlando Bloom theory. There are certain actors that simply don't work in roles that take place in period pieces. True, Bloom was in the Pirates movies, but he wasn't really the star, now was he? Then look what happened when they mistakenly thought he was a star because of those movies, and put him in "Kingdom of Heaven".

What's "Kingdom of Heaven"? Well, that's where they got the exact people who did "Gladiator" but stuck Orlando Bloom in the Russell Crowe role and everyone laughed because Orlando Bloom carrying a sword is so dumb looking cause he's obviously a total pussy.

There are no dragons around these days, so pussies rule. Orlando Bloom fits right in. You put Orlando Bloom in a suit "cute meeting" Kate Hudson, and my mom will probably watch that. But you're not throwing him into a gladiator ring against Djimon Hounsou and expecting him to come out alive.

The point is, there are some actors that just belong in our times. 2011. Tim Riggins isn't Orlando Bloom, and he isn't a pussy, but he is at his best when he's on planet Earth and not a God Damn mutant.

So what is Tim Riggins doing next? He's dressing up like a gladiator in this piece of garbage:


That's the new trailer for a movie called "John Carter". Taylor plays the title character, who gets transported to Mars and basically the plot of Avatar happens.

And after this? He's starring as a naval captain in the movie version of the game "Battleship.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's almost like when standup comedians inevitably do their dramatic role. No! That's not what you do, that's not why we like you. Stick to being funny.

So please, Riggins, stop saving the world in medieval times, put on some jeans, maybe a tank top, drink a beer, and exist in the 21st century. And do it soon, or you'll be back working at Riggins Rigs with Billy.