The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All

I'm not doing a whole thing on this, but before I get started:

Holy crap, Bachelor Pad look amazing. They showed a preview during this and it was great. Jake/Vienna/Frog voice love triangle with Gia thrown in the middle? Yes, please.

This show is 2 hours long, which is about an hour and 45 minutes longer than it needs to be. Just give us Bentley, that's all you need to do.

The guys look the same, for the most part. Constantine looks chubbier.

I swear, every "girls/guys tell all" episode features someone you never thought twice about who suddenly goes off. Tonight, it's Nick, the fake blonde personal trainer guy. I think he snorted some coke before the show, and has just decided to shit all over everyone. Maybe he should've tried talking during the actual show.

William is there, and still a dick. It's very uncomfortable when they play back his highlight reel. Even if you don't like Ashley, it's still painful.

Very funny moment when Ryan tells the guys that he read 3 books about what questions to ask Ashley. I can't believe that such a romantic way to get to know a woman didn't work out. He's a crazy person.

The crowd loses their minds for Ames. I just don't get it. I mean, he's gay. That's not even up for debate. I look forward to his work on Bachelor Pad though, where he supposedly "couples up" with Jackie from Brad's season.

NO BENTLEY.

This show is officially a fraud. I've asked this before and I'll ask it again: when they sign these guys up to do the show, how is there not a clause in their contract that stipulates that they must appear on the men tell all? This makes no sense.

The one interesting thing on this season is a completely unexploited. I'd rather see Bentley on this show right now than watch the finale. Just awful, awful producing. Pathetic.

Oh, but don't worry, because Michelle Money just happens to be there, and she's the one that sent the infamous warning text messages to Ashley. Great.

Michelle regales us with her theories on men and women and forbidden fruit.

Ashley is there and almost immediately cries for no reason.

She's still trying to defend herself to the guys about liking Bentley more than them.

Ashley says that she judges people for "what she knows about them and I'll never change that". Oh, you're not gonna use what you don't know about them? Congratulations on taking that brave stance. But by the way, you did know about Bentley. Michelle is right there in the stands, and she texted you that he was not there for the right reasons. So shut up.

Holy fucking shit, they bring out God Damn Jason and Alli and Blinky DeAnna. Why must they do this every time? This is what happens when they make them fill 2 hours.

Ashley: "I didn't come into this thinking oh I'm super hot and everbody's gonna love me". Well, that's good.

DeAnna says "impordant".

Wait a minute! William gets the hot seat, Ryan gets the hot seat, Ames gets the hot seat...and not Constantine?!!! What the hell is going on? The dude made it to the final 3, was the first guy ever to make it that far and then dump the Bachelor/ette, and they did not ask him one single question.

I don't mean to be dramatic, but that is completely outrageous. Does anyone know what they're doing on this show? They wasted the first hour doing montages, then the last half hour with ex Bachelors, and yet had no time for the guy she basically dumped Ames to keep around and then dumped her?

Thank God this shit is ending tomorrow, people.

Before I go, I have to say it one more time: the one thing this season had going for it was an Ashley vs Bentley showdown, and they never made it happen. It's like Survivor not declaring a winner, or Celebrity Rehab not having Steven Adler. What a waste.

See you tomorrow night, when we finally can move on with our lives...