Damn You, Gymnastics

The true hardcore Irwin fans out there know that I love the Olympics more than just about anything. You have to be hardcore to remember my flurry of Olympic posts 4 years ago. Sadly, this is the first Olympics where I've had the audacity to be employed while they are being played. It sucks. Well, except for the paychecks, those are nice.

It's insane how invested I get in these sports for 2 weeks every four years, and I'll inevitably lose my mind when swimming doesn't capitalize on the spotlight the Olympics shines on it.

(quick swimming tangent: I've been surprised by the hating on Lochte and Phelps. If anything, what has happened this year, especially with Lochte, only proves how incredible Michael Phelps' performance was 4 years ago) 

And then there's gymnastics. Me getting outraged about gymnastics and it's scoring system is truly a tradition like no other. I always forget how mad it makes me until I see it again, and now it's 2008 all over again.

The one thing this sport was known for was the perfect 10. It's something everyone can understand. Heck, it even created a saying, the perfect 10. And they threw that away. It's like football deciding to get rid of touchdowns, or baseball getting rid of home runs, or hockey getting rid of headlocks.

Is anyone paying attention to this sport? Do they not want it to be good? Any sport with judges is flawed, I suppose. But it doesn't seem that hard to make it better for the fans, or guys like me. 

I defy you to tell me what the Russian girl did wrong on that final floor routine tonight. You can't do it, and neither can the judges. It's completely stupid. She couldn't have done it better.

You know your sport sucks when the best part is watching the girls watch the scoreboard. 

I've railed against the scoring at length, so let's move on to the announcers. If I have to hear "Catastrophe!" one more time, I swear to God, Tim Daggett.

But again, that's neither here nor there. I really just wanted to mention something that is bothering me that I hadn't noticed before:

The noise.

These asshole tennis players need absolute silence, and yet these 12 year olds are flipping around on a 4 inch beam and there's music, clapping, cheering directed at other routines, beeps, buzzers, Bela Karolyi, Good Lord!

Hitting a golf ball doesn't need silence. You can't break your neck hitting a golf ball. So keep it down. I need to hear if a "Catastrophe!" has just happened, because honestly, I can't even tell when it does.