Pilots in Development

I was doing some research yesterday, and I read every single logline for every single TV pilot that is currently in development. Many of these won't even be produced into a pilot, most will never get on the air. However, they are all ideas that the networks bought.

Some things stood out:

There are 2 shows about guys who form wedding bands, and another where 4 guys reunite their cover band.

There are 2 shows that revolve around the Vice President of the United States - one is a woman, the other a man.

There are also 2 shows about celebrity assistants. And 2 shows about a guy who has insomnia and can't sleep.

Oh, and there are 2 shows about "brothers from different mothers". And there are lots of musicals.

NBC has no identity as a network. You can tell just by reading the idea which network it is probably for - conservative procedural/traditional sitcom, that's CBS. Something a little edgier or animated, that's FOX. But with NBC it's obvious they are just blindly buying things and hoping it ends up making sense for them.

There was one show that has a logline that is so stupid it keeps making me laugh. I'm sure the script is fine, but there is something about this description that cracks me up every time. Here it is:

"Partners"
Police drama centered on two female police detectives who are fiercely loyal to one another since they're also secretly sisters.

Secretly sisters? What does that even mean? Why do they have to keep it a secret? I was just imagining the dialogue from that show:

"What's up, Captain?"

"Nothing"

"You know, I just saw you talking to Colleen and...you're not sisters, are ya?"

"NO!"

I don't know why that is so funny to me, but it is. As if being sisters is the ultimate secret. You need a hook for your show!

What if they're secretly sisters?

That's it!

Here's another logline I found funny:

"Cooper and Stone"
Drama about two Chicago female detectives who specialize in pop culture knowledge and solving homicides.

You know what's important in solving murders? Knowing that Ryan Phillippe and Amanda Seyfriend have broken up.

Here's an annoying one to me:

"Dr. Henry"
Drama about an eccentric psychiatrist who, with the help of his team at his prestigious institute, digs into his patients' psyches to help cure them of the most bizarre psychological afflictions.

Are you sure it's Dr. Henry and not Dr. House?

I noticed this one because it's very similar to "Felicity":

Drama about a woman who, following a whirlwind affair over graduation weekend with the hottest guy in her med school class, makes a radical decision to give up a plum surgical residency in Chicago in order to be near him, and takes the only remaining spot at UCLA -- psychiatry, a field which she has no belief in.

And for you ladies complaining that mass media portrays women as fragile, emotional weaklings who have to follow men around, that's was written by a woman.

Does anyone miss "Bosom Buddies"? Cause a real network bought this pitch:

"Work It"
Multi-camera comedy about two out-of-work car salesmen - both husbands and fathers - who dress as women by day to get jobs working as pharmaceutical reps.

Good Lord.

Remember how I was saying that you can tell what idea goes with which network? Well, CBS has a drama called "The Rememberer". Oh my God. The Rememberer! Really? How is that not a spoof?

Guess what it's about?

Drama about a female FBI agent who remembers everything, helping her career but makes for turmoil in her personal life.

If I ever go into CBS for a meeting, I'm definitely pitching my drama "The Recollector". But that's just a working title, I might go with "The Reminiscer" or "The Bear In Minder".