A Slice of Irwin's Life

(this post has no real meaning, it's just something that happened, and seems to happen to me quite frequently) I went to a bar last night to meet a friend. I got there early. The bar had stools, and most of them were taken. I walked around, and then spotted a free one, though I didn't even really consider sitting in it, it was just an open spot to order a drink from.

The couple next to the empty stool was an old man, and a young black woman. I'm not going to tell you that she was a hooker, but she was a hooker. Because he was old and gross. And she was young and sort of attractive, in an escorty way.

That doesn't matter. What matters is that in the empty stool next to her was her purse. And as I walked up to order my drink, she looked at me. And then she grabbed the empty stool and pulled it towards her, implying that I was absolutely not welcome to sit there.

But in pulling the stool, it made a very loud, annoying noise as it dragged across the hardwood floor. I turned and looked at it, then at her. She was caught. I gave her a "fuck you" stare, because clearly she believed her purse needed a rest more than I did. Reverse Rosa Parks!

Anyway, I ordered my drink. I stood there, and I drank it. 10 minutes later, a guy in a very tight shirt wedges himself between me and the stool. He orders a drink.

He isn't there for more than 3 seconds before the gross old man sees him standing there and says, "Hey! You need a seat? There's an empty one here if you want it. We're not using it".

Let me be clear: he did not know the man next to me. He just saw him standing, and offered him the seat. The question is why was it not offered to me. The answer is very simple:

Because these are the things that happen to me.

Let me assure you, I do not smell. I wear a quality deodorant. I dress appropriately, never outrageous, never poorly. I'm an average man, in every way. And perhaps that is the problem.

Average guys don't get asked to sit next to hookers.