PorkSword72

I still play video games. Sometimes, I go online and play against others. When you go online, you have a screen name that is usually not your own name. One time, while playing Call of Duty, I kept getting killed by a young man known as PorkSword72.

It always made me laugh. I looked forward to getting killed just to see the name of PorkSword72 up on the screen.

For some reason, I dedicated a lot of thought about that name. I analyzed it. And I've come up with several reasons why it is so funny and how it possibly came to be.

The first option is that the gentleman named PorkSword was born in 1972, hence the 72. This is funny because it means that a 40 year old man named himself PorkSword.

The second option is that there are 71 other PorkSwords out there (at least!). I don't think I need to explain why this is pretty great.

And the third option is that PorkSword72 actually wanted to be PorkSword69. I don't think that's much of a leap to make. When you're thinking of yourself as a PorkSword, the thought of a 69 is really close by.

This is the funniest of all scenarios to me. It means that PorkSword was so dying to be PorkSword69, that he was okay with being PorkSword72, cause it's kinda close. It's only 3 away from 69, after all.

It also means that two other people had the same logic. "Well, it's not 69, but PorkSword70 is still damn close".

But the whole point of 69 is that it's actually 69! Numbers nearby don't count! It's not the amount, it's the shape of the 6 and the 9. You could make an argument for PorkSword96. A damn good argument. But 70, 71, 72? No. That doesn't work.

But that's how much the wanted to be PorkSword69, they would take PorkSword69 adjacent.