First of all, let's talk about CT. CT is a guy who first appeared on The Real World. He's from Boston, and he's a large, intimidating man who reacts to everything by immediately throwing punches. He's sort of like the white Mike Tyson, except for even more frightening.
In fact, he's been unable to stay on board these challenge shows because he always resorts to punching people and they kick him off.
For example, he was on a few seasons ago and he threw a vicious right hand to this little guy Adam's eye...
This season, because it was rivals, he and Adam had to form a team and work together. CT managed to restrain himself, and would repeatedly ask Adam "are we pals yet?" and Adam would never give in.
But the real legend of CT occurred last season, which he wasn't even on. They brought him out especially for a final elimination. Two guys - Johnny and Tyler - were going to compete head to head and the loser went home.
So in a big surprise, CT comes out. Each guy had to strap his back to CT's back, and then the object was to drag the other guy to the other side. Whoever beat CT or lost to him the slowest, won.
I'm sure when they were planning this competition they thought it would be an exercise in crawling. It's not easy when there's a 220 pound man attached to you. Well, they didn't plan on CT.
Because in the greatest display of strength since Lamar Odom carried Khloe Kardashian over the threshold, he literally picked Johnny up like a backpack and walked with him.
There were no magic moments like that in this season, but there were some highlights. One of them was when about 4 of the guys (and by the way, all of the guys on this show take steroids and are big and strong) lifted this big statue thing and put it in a girl's bed as a joke.
When she told CT about it, he went over and picked the statue up, BY HIMSELF, and removed it. I guess this is how strong you can be when you have no ability to get a real job.
And then in the second to last episode - where he got eliminated - he put a Ronnie Lott style hit on Johnny and Tyler. They went flying, and he just stood there. It was awesome...
With CT gone, it seemed like the ending would be anticlimactic. Quite the contrary. This show has prided itself on making the final elimination challenge increasingly insane, and they outdid themselves here.
They basically had to climb up a mountain, but midway through, had to eat until they puked and then sleep out in the cold - one person was allowed to sleep for an hour while their teammate had to stand on a tiny rock. 2 of the teams gave up.
And then it was down to Team Johnny and Tyler vs. Team Wes and Kenny. As you know, Kenny aka Mr. Beautiful is my boy. He's handsome, he's funny, and he's a badass. He should be more famous, the fact that teenage girls would rather hang posters up of Rob Pattinson is the surest sign yet that America is on the decline.
For most of the season he has not been doing well. Wes was carrying them. But that all changed in the finale.
Wes had some sort of something bulging out of his knee. He was crying and screaming like a baby. Then Kenny, in a CT like Herculean move, picked up Wes, put him on his shoulders, and CARRIED HIM UP THE MOUNTAIN. Where's your book about that, John Kraukauer?!
We really need to start making this a sport. At the very least, it's a thousand times more entertaining than baseball. So if you watched it, please leave comments about your impressions of the show. If not, you probably have a life and you suck.
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