Luis, The Custodian

I play in a regular basketball game every Saturday. It's a loose collection of guys, who show up and play at a court that's inside a large apartment complex. Everyone knows each other and it's all very pleasant and there aren't arguments or fights like you have to worry about at normal pickup games.



Very recently, we've had a new guy start showing up. I first saw him wheeling around a trash can. That's cause he's the apartment complex's janitor.



He stopped outside our court, watching our game. After a game ended and we took a break, he came onto the court and started shooting. And then he motioned like, "can I play?" We said "sure".



He played. In his jeans. With a heavy work shirt on. Luckily, he removed the giant ring of a hundred keys from his pants first.



His name is Luis. And I get kick out of the fact that all of the white dudes I play with call him "Lewis".



Over the next couple weeks, he became a regular. And we hated it. Not cause we're anti janitor, on the contrary, but because Luis doesn't hustle. He doesn't play defense. He forgets who he is guarding. He claps for the ball and then doesn't pass it back. On many possessions he doesn't even cross half court. He's fat and out of shape, our game might be the only exercise he gets all week, aside from chasing around his 5 kids. And that's not racist, cause he actually has 5 kids cause one day he brought them.



Now when he comes to work, he makes sure to wear jean shorts and a wife beater, and three less necklaces than he usually wears. He comes ready to play.



Well, this weekend, he didn't show up. And we were happy. Until...



Right before we were about to start playing, the manager of the apartment complex made an unexpected appearance. He walked onto the court very sternly. I thought he was coming to tell us that he fired Luis. Or better yet, Luis tore his ACL.



But this is what he said:



"Hey guys, it's fine that you all play here and everything, but the last few weeks you've left a bunch of water bottles and trash on the court, and we can't have that. So make sure you clean it up up here when you're done"



We were speechless. None of us knew what to say. I mean, it's impossible that the court would have garbage, we play with the God Damn janitor! He brings his giant yellow trash can with him on the court. It's almost impossible for us not to throw shit into that ridiculously sized tub.



But if we said that we'd rat Lewis out.



Of all the things that manager could come up to tell us, it's amazing that it would have to do with garbage clean up. It seems like that would be the one thing we had in our pocket. It's like being best friends with the chief of police and not being able to get out of a speeding ticket.



But we stayed quiet. We so wanted to say something, it was our chance to rid our game of Luis forever! But it was not to be, because if there's one thing our group lives by, it's the omerta code.